Skip to main content

Shoes

The following poem was read at the Evening of Remembrance at McMaster Children's Hospital in September. It really stuck with me and so simply explains my life now...

Shoes
Author Unknown

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.

Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet I continue to wear them.

I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.

They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.

I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some people are like me and ache daily as they try to walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much .
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.

No one deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger person.
These shoes have given me strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.

I will forever walk in the shoes of a parent who has lost a child.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The aftermath is MESSY

We are on the road to recovery!  Physically, Xavier is improving daily with his regular physio and pure determination only a child possesses. He is learning to walk again and use his left side, all while building back the muscle he lost.  He has at least another month of treatment left, but we are so fortunate we can manage it at home and at a dose that causes fewer side effects than he faced last month.  Xavier is determined and I admire that in children. The lack of self-pity in kids we have seen  on his cancer ward are so inspiring. Instead they use that energy to heal, and set goals for recovery.   Still there are residual symptoms that are concerning. He is choking on liquids more frequently, suffering from reflux and is unable to move his toes on his left foot. Seems minor but as he tries to walk now his toes curl under his foot and trip him. Who knew how important straightening your toes are!  But the lingering side effect of treatment ...
2 comments
Read more
Ever since I learned how to write, I have been writing. I am not a professional, nor do I pretend to be. I am not an English major or a published author. I wrote the news for years (almost 10 if you count my years at my college newspaper). But the benefit of writing for me is not for money; it's for pleasure. Writing makes me feel good. Since I was 10 years old I kept a diary. I wrote down my thoughts, my daily activities and everything in between. It was my stress relief - how I figured shit out. I can trace every low point in my life to a time when I stopped writing for pleasure. Pen to a paper, fingers to a keyboard, I have to write. My sanity depends on it. So, here I go. I intend on writing about my life, about stories I have swirling around in my head. And maybe share some excerpts from my diaries as a child. If no one reads this, that's fine. It's not for anyone else but me. But if they do, that's ok too. If I can bring a tear, a laugh or a smile to someone e...
2 comments
Read more

I haven't stopped loving you

I haven’t stopped loving you A letter to my son in heaven on the third anniversary of his death Photo by Mark Garrett/Creative Works Photography Dear Xavier,  I have noticed you don’t visit me as often anymore and I miss your surprise appearances in my dreams. Your sweet little voice I used to hear in my head is now just a whisper I can only hear when I really try to listen.  But, I haven’t stopped loving you.  Days go by and I don’t long for you like I used to. I set the table for three without a second thought. Your presence at the kitchen table feels like a lifetime ago - almost hard to believe it was even real.  But, I haven’t stopped loving you.   We put away some more of your things and rearranged the room we had made for you. Mackenzie now plays there beside a cabinet full of all of your Star Wars characters. There are fewer pictures of just you around the house and a few more of us as a family.  But, I haven’t stop...
1 comment
Read more