The Book of Me

“Mom, am I going to die?” Pondering this rather difficult question tonight.  It’s something I often get asked about when I talk about pediatric palliative care, and more specifically how I responded to that question from my dying son, or what advice I could offer other parents who may also be confronted with this heart-wrenching question. What do you say when that child IS going to die? I wish I had a perfect answer.  In the almost 8 years my son Xavier lived with terminal brain cancer, I don’t remember him ever asking this. Although he was only a baby when he was diagnosed, he lived a very fragile life in his later years.  There were at least four horrific times when his death was imminent. There were days and months when I can only imagine he felt like death. But did he ever ask me if he was going to die? I can’t remember.  I distinctly remember my daughter asking if her twin brother was going to die, but never him.   Maybe I blocked it out-too painful to process or maybe he just nev