Anyone can have it. I go through most days not realizing I suffer until a day like today. To most it may sound ridiculous, but our dog Charlie was spayed today. Surgery. Seeing her drugged up then puke was a trigger. My mind immediately went back to Xavier. The vivid memories of bringing him home after surgeries. He puked … a lot and wouldn’t stop and it only made his head pound more after brain surgery. I see myself holding a wash cloth on his head and a bucket in front of him as I dial 911. I was alone and there was no way I could leave him in the backseat while I drove him to emerg. He was in so much pain. I was scared so scared but at the time I couldn’t let my emotions out. I never did in the moment. I only acted. Maybe I wasn’t compassionate enough during those times as I suppressed the pain. But now I feel it. I am sobbing in the bath tub trying not to think about this experience but it won’t stop playing in my head. I feel my breathing ...
A journal of my life and the stories of those around me. A novel in the making.