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The eyes tell the story


June 20, 2017
There once was a time when my son's cobalt blue eyes sparkled. You could see them light up every time he looked at you. They were big, bright and ever so blue.

This light even shone in pictures of him. You couldn't help but catch a glimpse of his sweet soul in his eyes. These smiling eyes were a testament to the love and joy within him.

There once was a time when my eyes lit up with the light of Xavier's life. They sparkled a most magnificent blue. Whenever I was with him, my eyes told a story of extraordinary love. They glistened in the warm sun, mimicking Xavier's smiling eyes.

Then one day his blue eyes turned a grey. The soft beautiful backlight that made his eyes so full of life had faded. The light of his life went out. When I looked into his eyes, they were empty. Although he still opened them and loving looked into mine, I could tell there was nothing left. No excitement, no smiles, no joy left in those beautiful blue eyes.

After his eyes closed never to open again, my eyes went grey. All of the amazing colour our lives together had painted were washed away by my tears. There was no excitement, no smiles and no joy left in my blue eyes.

I look at my tired eyes in the mirror and see only pain.


June 22, 2017 
I did a little test today to confirm what I experienced the night of Xavier's death was truly a phenomena.

On the night of May 13, there was no storm, no rain, no reason for the power to go out. But it did. It flickered, shutting off the fan blowing on us as well as my computer. But at least 20 minutes later my computer, which I could see clearly from where we had set up Xavier's bed, turned itself back on to display my magazine masthead Inspire.

Today, our power flickered during a heavy rainstorm (which is not unusual). But I had been working on my computer and it shut down. So I waited. I waited for it to come back on like it had that night. If that's what it does normally, than it should do it again. But after an hour of waiting, it did not restart like the night Xavier died.

This further proves my own belief that this had been a sign. That we were not alone in the room when Xavier passed.

It has been said that electricity and spiritual energy are of a very similar vibrational energy. And while I don't believe in ghosts per se, I do believe Jesus or someone sent from God come to lead our loved ones to Paradise. The Holy Spirit was there and took my precious boy home.

June 23, 2017
Thank you Xavier for yet another sign. I needed you, I called for you and you sent me a baby robin again. I love you.




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