AS the hype grows hot for the new Star Wars movie The Last Jedi, my heart grows sad.
The movie, which premiered in LA this weekend, comes to local theatres on Thursday.
Seeing the new Star Wars movies has kinda been a thing for our family. Before having kids, it was an automatic date night for Mark and I (and I really enjoyed the added romance between Anakin and Padme). Then when we had kids, especially a boy who grew to love the original Star Wars just as much as his dad, going to the movies to see the newest one became an "event". Mark and Xavier would brave the crowds to go during opening weekend, then about a week later Mackenzie and I would go with the boys (because they are that good to see them twice in one week!)
But months before the movie was even in theatres we talked about going. When the trailer for the trailer would come out we would all get excited and then watch the trailers over and over again online. It always brought a lot of joy to us all and especially Xavier.
And he wasn't afraid to let us know what he thought about Lucasfilm's (now Disney) epic productions. He fell asleep during Rogue One and told us how much better Episode 7 was, which was why he was really looking forward to #8 The Last Jedi.
But he won't be watching it with us this year.
My heart breaks to think of seeing it without him. I can just picture his excitement and anticipation. We will never be able to think of Star Wars without thinking about him. Xavier loved a lot of things, but Star Wars definitely took the cake.
We were packing up our house to move (we had bought a house more suited to his physical needs at the time) when he stopped and started sorting through his Star Wars toys. He looked at us and said: "These ones are really important to me." At the time we didn't know how close to death he was. Two weeks later he died.
And this is why, as much as it will hurt, we will watch The Last Jedi. We will go to honour Xavier and invite him to watch it with us, through us as only his spirit can.
We have always been fans of Star Wars, but now our "fandom" has taken on an entirely new meaning.
Our love for these beloved, fictional stories now hold truly special memories of our son. It has made us believe in The Force!
“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealously. The shadow of greed, that is.”
Xavier’s Hope Video featuring Star Wars!